But instead of breaking in the bed, he drew me towards him in a way that can only be described as chaste."This will be so much more comfortable," he told me. Fast forward several years, and the conversation that ended our marriage began like this:"There is something I need to tell you – something I have never told anyone before," he said. My parents had a house in Provincetown, MA which was a mecca for sexual freedom and the accessories to support personal choice. At home he gently hung each item in our shared closet.We were still in the honeymoon phase at this point, literally and figuratively. And then he flat-out said it: "I can only get turned on if I am in women's clothes."this would end our relationship. Even though I knew cross-dressing was not a bad thing, the news struck me like a diagnosis of cancer or depression. Together we even went to a store which specialized in women's wear for men. I looked at his sequins and patent pumps and realized he was better outfitted than I was.The alienation I felt embarrassed me; I wanted so badly to love him unconditionally. But what I wanted most was to go back in time to our crummy sex life – before he played dress up. He had spent a life fantasizing about this – and finally it was real. "I would never have done it if you weren't OK.""I have more information now. It wasn't until I was decorating my apartment with as many girly things as possible that I let myself realize how upset I had been. He would wear lingerie under his clothes and was ready to go at all times. I realize as much as it turns you on it turns me off," I admitted. Afterwards, we'd lay in bed half-dressed – me in a grubby tee-shirt, my husband in a lace bra. As he touched my body, I realized that he was imagining it was his own. During the light of day I tried to talk myself out of this new mindset. He wanted what he wanted and I was an accessory to his life – as well as sex life. I had married him despite being unsatisfied with our sex life, yet he gave me up when he realized how unsatisfied had been. Once when I returned my engagement ring and once at the courthouse.I gave myself pep talks: "You love him, you want him to be happy, and you already decided that sex was not the defining feature of your relationship."For instance, I thought, he loved sci-fi movies…I did not. Why would a sexual fetish be more divisive than that? I was a less valuable than his corsets."I won't go back to vanilla sex," he told me. In a matter of weeks, I left everything behind – the house, the car and the size-12 gold shoes. After the sound of the judges gavel we hugged goodbye, and I thought I felt the ribbed wire of the corset beneath his button-up shirt.Meet Crossdressers, Transexuals, Transgenders, Men, Women, and admirers who are looking for friends, a hot date, and even more!
We were best friends and I decided I didn't need more.
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